Alicia and Olga - Abbotsford Honourees

2023 IG Weath Management Walk for Alzheimer's

Alicia Friesen will never forget one day she picked up her mother Olga, who lives with young onset Alzheimer’s disease, from her adult day program. Olga was crying because she thought she was being left there permanently. With tears in her eyes, Alicia promised never to leave her. Now, eight years into their dementia journey, Alicia continues to do for Olga what her mother has always done for her: stay by her side.

Alicia was still a teen when she left Germany to study English in Canada. Wanting to stay close by, her parents chose to move with her. When Alicia eventually met her husband and decided to make Abbotsford her permanent home, they chose to do the same. But as their family grew, Olga began to show signs of dementia, and was diagnosed at the age of 59. Alicia is motivated to share her story because she has keenly felt the impact the disease can have on someone trying to juggle the responsibilities of caregiving with a full life and a young family.

“My mom’s diagnosis was a great shock, and I was afraid of the unknown,” Alicia says. “At first, I wasn't aware of where to reach out for help. Also, I would not share the terrible news with anyone as I was afraid that people would treat my mom differently. Even my closest friends were not aware of it for a couple of years.”

Olga – a former kindergarten teacher known for her delicious crepes, generosity and caring spirit – first showed signs something was wrong following a trip back to Germany when her difficulty reading clocks and understanding numbers became apparent. At first, Alicia attributed Olga’s cognitive changes to stress from caring for her grandchildren, but it soon became obvious something else was going on.

Following a formal diagnosis of dementia, Olga seemed fine – hair and makeup always done with a smile on her face. But underneath, she was experiencing rapid changes, losing two of the three languages she was fluent in and suddenly struggling to communicate with those around her.

Eventually, caring for Olga proved too much for Alicia’s father and – following failed home support and challenges balancing her employment – Alicia left her job to become a full-time caregiver. Support from the Alzheimer Society of B.C., including education and a caregiver support group, has been essential for Alicia.

“I wish I would have reached out right away,” Alicia says. “In the beginning of the Alzheimer journey, there are so many unknows and I was trying to figure it out on my own while caring for my two toddlers and being pregnant with my third child.”

Alicia is proud of the journey her family, including her husband and her father, has been on together – as well as the strength and consideration her children show towards Olga every day. Whatever they’re doing, Olga is never left behind.

“I admire that my children always try to include my mom,” she says. “This is a perfect opportunity to learn to care for others and to learn to make sacrifices.”

Alicia understands that the sacrifice her family has made isn’t possible for everyone but wants to encourage younger people who are able to take on a caregiving role not to fear it. She hopes caregivers still balancing work will have access to more home care and be able to speak openly at work about caring for people living with dementia, without feeling judged for the choice – opportunities she wishes she had been afforded.

“Caring for a loved one in need is not easy, however it is highly rewarding,” Alicia says. “I am grateful for the opportunity to serve my mother because she deserves the best care possible given that she served me so selflessly over the years. Every morning she wakes up with a big smile on her face and joy in her heart.”

Join Alicia and Olga on Sunday, May 28 for the Abbotsford IG Wealth Management Walk for Alzheimer's. Together, we make memories matter.