The Phillips family - Victoria Honourees

2021 IG Wealth Management Walk for Alzheimer's

When Isabel Phillips crossed the finish line at her first Times Colonist 10k, she took second place within her age category, but for her friends and family cheering for her on the sidelines, she had won. Isabel had been living with Alzheimer’s disease for about seven years when she told her husband Michael she wanted to run the race. They joined a clinic together and Isabel ran every training kilometre to prepare – sometimes more when she’d run off-course and Michael would chase after her to bring her back into the group.

“She was so determined to do it to show that she could,” Michael says. “When she got the silver medal, that wasn’t good enough. She did it again the next year and got the gold. She’s pure grit and determination. That’s the way she’s fought this awful disease.”

At just 94 pounds and less than five feet tall, Isabel ignited dance parties wherever she went, whether in a pub in Ireland, or back at home in Victoria where she was been known to take a dance break while singing with her choir. In fall of 2019, Isabel’s increased need for care led her to long-term care. Despite the painful experiences that followed – a broken hip, multiple moves to find the right home and the ongoing isolation from COVID-19 restrictions – Isabel’s joy and spirit remain.

“She’s full of vim and vigor,” Michael says. “She’s from Cape Breton and wants everybody to know. Tough on the outside, soft on the inside.”

Michael has been Isabel’s caregiver for the last decade, through mental and physical challenges that tested both of their strength and determination. With Michael’s planning and Isabel’s drive, they continued to travel the world together, swimming in Antarctica and ascending mountains in the Austrian countryside. Still, for the first several years following Isabel’s diagnosis, there was a tension between Isabel’s search for a reason for her memory loss, and Michael’s acceptance that it was Alzheimer’s disease. It was an extremely difficult time and one Michael got through with ongoing support and education from the Alzheimer Society of B.C.

“They were my rock for the longest time,” he says. “I would have to fib to get support, because Isabel would never accept the Alzheimer Society calling, but I couldn’t have done it without them.”

A key point in their journey came three years ago, when they joined Voices in Motion, an intergenerational choir for people living with dementia, their caregivers and high school students. The choir, also the subject of quality-of-life research at the University of Victoria, which is funded by the Alzheimer Society of B.C., offered them invaluable support from people who understand.

“We walked in and we were all strangers,” Michael says of their first choir practice. “We could tell who the caregivers were and who the people living with Alzheimer’s were. You can’t now. Now we’re a family and there’s nothing wrong with anybody there. We’re all the same. And Isabel finally realized that she’s not alone.”

After a decade of Isabel living with dementia at home with Michael as her primary caregiver, their daughter Jill has now taken on a more active role as a part of her care team. Since the COVID-19 pandemic began, Jill has spent much of her time advocating to ensure Isabel’s voice is being heard and her needs, which Michael was no longer able to meet at home, are being met in long-term care. After four homes and a large setback with a broken hip, Isabel is now settling into her new care home. Still, the loss of social contact with her family has been profound.

Isabel and Michael have three children, eight grandchildren and one great-grandchild.

“I desperately want her to see the rest of the family because that’s how she knows who she is,” says Jill, who has been able to visit Isabel and help provide essential care. Noting that Isabel is at her best when they’re all together, Jill says, “When people have dementia, they need anchors, they need family. They need people who love them.”

When Isabel was diagnosed, Michael saw dementia not as the end of the world, but the beginning of something new. Now, as the family navigates another new chapter, he focuses on the spirit that’s still there, and the love Isabel brings out of people, as she pedals around in her wheelchair smiling and charming the staff. He also shares his experience and accepts help.

“You should lift the veil and let people know what you’re going through,” he says. “If you don’t, people have this narrow vision of what it’s like and you’ll go through pitfalls and obstacles alone.”

Join Isabel and Michael this May at the Victoria IG Wealth Management Walk for Alzheimer's. Together, we make memories matter.