Ian Stewart is a jack of all trades and a master of many. Well-spoken and worldly, he is a writer, a leader and an advocate. He’s also a caregiver.

Raised in Gold River and Gibsons, Ian spent time in Burnaby and Ottawa before moving to the UK in 1996. To bridge the distance from his family, he had weekly phone calls with his mother, Jean, in Surrey and his father, Alex, in Gibsons. Over time, he noticed changes in his mother’s personality and behaviours. It wasn’t long before he started to see similar concerns with his father. Shortly after his father was diagnosed with dementia, Ian left the life he loved abroad and moved back to B.C. in 2011.

Ian is part of a large, but often under-looked, community: 2SLGBTQIA+ caregivers. After moving home to care for his parents, he found there were more expectations put upon him than his brothers, who both had grown-up families and were in heteronormative relationships.

“It felt like my experience was devalued,” Ian says. “Like what I have going on is less important. While living in England, Ian attended a free, public training series aimed specifically at supporting gay family caregivers. He wasted no time finding that support upon his return to B.C., calling the First Link® Dementia Helpline to see what was available. “When things are out of control and you've got someone in distress, it's hugely helpful to call and get somebody on the line who knows what to do,” Ian says.

After listening to Ian’s needs, Helpline staff connected Ian with their Rainbow Support Group, which provides a safe space for 2SLGBTQIA+ community members to exchange information, find support and create friendships with other care partners. Having access to a support group that understood his specific situation as a gay man made it easier to participate and feel supported.

“Whether Two-Spirit, lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans, queer – whatever a group member’s situation — I find it a huge support to hear from other people whose loved ones are living with dementia and what strategies work for them,” Ian says.

Ian’s father died in 2018. It wasn’t long before it became clear that his mother also needed support and Ian decided to move in with her.

Although at retirement age, Ian’s schedule is as busy as ever, keeping track of his mom’s daily activities including a senior’s day program and Minds in Motion®, the social and exercise program offered by the Alzheimer Society of B.C.

He also takes his mom to medical appointments. While she has not received a formal diagnosis, progressive impairment has been confirmed. Despite changes to her cognitive abilities, Jean is living life to the fullest.

“She has a normal life. She has a friend in the building who will call her up to go on walks,” Ian says. “When she attends the day program, she gets herself ready and catches the HandyDART. She has agency.”